Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Rhubarb Gallery Night

I've received my invitation to the Rhubarb Gallery Night...actually, I got it a while ago, but it just occurred to me I could show it here! Fleur is very kind (and I'm in a spin about living up to the great wrap she has given me!)

Wish me luck!! Still much work to do.......


Alison said...

Dear Tracey,

I so hope it’s okay that I dropped by to indulge the happy case of ‘Past Mortem’ which hit me soon after I received an e-mail flyer from the ‘Bush Christmas’. I always love to read their newsletters, and drool over the displays of country Queensland’s talent … to realise that perhaps I once knew the talent behind one of this week’s featured artist caught me by surprise!

So, here I am, offering a three finger salute to your wonderful work. Having acquired a few broken fingers since we last saw each other, I must say that that the salute might be a little bent these days -- I think my guiding days are well and truly over. Thankfully, the fingers that allow me to flip the bird are still intact, and if I may say so myself, I reckon have this hand gesture down to a fine art. Goodness knows, I need it, since I am still crawling through Brisbane’s now horrendous traffic in Herb – better known as Herbie in the olden days, but since he’s now the ripe old age of 47, I figure it’s time his name became a little more distinguished (though he still has his moments where he behaves like a recalcitrant child).

Have really enjoyed reading through your blogs, and learning that you are well and happy. Three sons! My goodness! I still remember sending my best wishes to you and Alan for ‘many future brownies’ in a telegram on your wedding day. So he didn’t spare even the one X-chromosome, to enable the keeping up of traditions? Shucks. Hope we didn’t scare him off.

From time to time, I come across my old guiding memorabilia, which is buried deep in the back of cupboards. I’m afraid some of it comprises evidence of a mis-spent youth. You know how we used to lie awake all night on camping trips, swapping dirty jokes? Can you believe I wrote them down? Yes, I’m afraid so. This was so I would never forget gems like …

“What’s brown and sounds like a bell?”

“What’s brown and sits on a piano?”
Beethoven’s last movement.

What’s brown and crawls up your leg?
A homesick poo.

Bit of a theme happening there, I think. I only hope it’s not becoming a driving life force. Since fleeing academia, and then moving on from the police service (despite the early training, or perhaps because of it, I never quite desensitised to the blue uniforms – found it awfully difficult to resist the temptation to throw my hands into the air and scream ‘It wasn’t me! I didn’t do it!’ every time an unknown uniformed copper jumped into an elevator with me), I’ve been working freelance as a psych./researcher. Lately I have found myself roped into an air quality project. I try and try to solve the problem and make myself redundant, but so far have only managed to gain more work. If it doesn’t let off soon, I might have to change my business name to something appropriate. What do you think of ‘Fart busters’?

Anyway, it’s rather late now, and I am babbling to cover for my lack of knowledge about what one ought to say in these situations. So I’ll sign off for now, by simply saying what I’d like to …

Really nice to hear of you again. Really hope to make it to the Bush Christmas this year, though I am not sure it will happen. If not, then I’d love to browse and shop in your lovely gallery, Rhubarb, when it comes online. I wish you all the best, and would be grateful if you would pass on my best wishes to your lovely Mum.

Kindest regards,

Alison Dyne

Tracey said...

Alison! What delight I have had today...first reading your comment here - then sharing it with Mum and my sister, Deb!I'm so pleased you took the time to tune in here - it was wonderful to hear from you, and I've chuckled all day at the 'quality' of the humour that kept us awake all night when we no doubt had many miles of arduous hiking waiting for us the next day!(only those of us who attended those 'lightweight' camps will recall how hard we did it - Mum still laughs about the folding tables and chairs, and campsites that were only acceptable if she could drive right up to them!).

And Herbie still lives on!!I'm gobsmacked!(So pleased to know you have that gesticulation down pat - in spite of the broken fingers!)

As for your change of business name to
"Fart Busters" - I may be tempted to employ your services! One of the boy's girlfriends attempted to cast a spell on his posterior the other night - for that very reason!( As you noted...I am surrounded by testosterone, and at times it smells like I'm living with a herd of goats...good thing I love 'em to bits!

I hope to be at Bush Christmas for a day or two this year...I might catch up with you there!

Mother Carmel sends her best, and was very touched that you remembered her and sent your best wishes...

Thanks again for saying hello...and for your kind words...wishing you all good things,

Warmest regards,

Alison said...

Dear Tracey,

You replied! Wow! You didn’t chew me out for disclosing elements of your deep, dark past. Phew!

I must say, I have often thought your Mum and Mrs Gilmore were angels sent from heaven - thank goodness I finally met with similar view on camping. I always thought it was an over-rated skill, unless you were hoping for a career in the military, which I wasn’t. I suppose it might have helped us had we wanted to audition for ‘Survivor’ but alas it wasn’t invented back then (& I deeply regret it ever was).

Now, about this son with the overactive posterior – I recycle corks for the scouts (of course the only reason I indulge in champagne is so I can undertake this good deed on days where I have fallen short of the good-deed-per-day target) -- would you like some? Before you say yes, I must warn you that I read somewhere that if you hold them in, they travel to your brain, and that’s where poopy ideas come from. To be honest, we are working very hard to close FB down, but given your special needs, I suppose we could place our team at your disposal. Three of us are kindly souls whose hearts are not in the business, so for you, we’ll offer our services gratis. Here’s the business plan:

FB will organize the conduct of extensive indoor air quality sampling for Formaldehyde and VOCs in your home. By the sounds of it, we should be looking at Methane and Carbon Monoxide as well. After laboratory analysis of the samples, we will provide you with a report that tells you exactly what nasties are in your air (we’re talking big words here – you won’t be able to pronounce them, and frankly - neither can we), and how many of each nasty we reckon you have. After you read your report, you might ask what it all means, which is when we will give it to you straight: you have big problem. ‘What is it?’ you ask. Well, in our opinion, the main problem is that you just paid fistfuls of dollars to receive confirmation of the fact that your house smells like a herd of goats. All we’ve really done is scientifically quantify it for you! They say that you get what you pay for, and in this case, what you are ultimately paying for is our true genius as we suggest remediation, which means – wait for it -- open your windows! If you do not wish to leave the solution to chance, one of our highly qualified engineers will develop scientifically a ventilation model that tells you how long you probably need to open the windows for. We can also arrange the installation of extraction fans in key locations (like son’s room) and compute required daily running time to exchange ruined air with fresh outdoor air. I think our sales pitch might need work but sadly it’s pretty much the one we’ve been using all along and it is working for us. When would you like us to come?

The alternative is to consider Aunty Al’s suggestions, such as that indoor air contaminants are just like flies – you open the window, flap your hands around a bit, say shoo! And the problem goes away. Would you like recipe and supplier contacts to make ‘smelly jelly’ in delicious flavours like ‘hot apple pie’ and ‘cranberry marmalade’? It works to overpower the smell of soggy doggy, so I don’t see why it won’t do the same for ‘herd of goats’ aromas. Personally, I figure that if I am going to trap VOCs in my home, they may as well be providing olfactory pleasure.

Please send my best wishes to Deb, too. I’d love to read news of her, if she offers her blessing and you care to share. I’d also love to remind her that I think she may have contributed the ‘finest’ joke of our history. I dare not repeat it here in full, so will reinstate the key cues, in the hope it might trigger your memories: it’s the one about the door-to-door salesman who pins his hope on selling his wares to a little boy’s brother, who is not home right now because he’s at the university, but alas – he’s in a jar.

Take care, best wishes,


Tracey said...

Wow...who knew such scientific brilliance lurked out there in the world??!! And who knew I had a scientific cell in my head (not me, that's for sure!)...but, I've disovered the open-the-window technique myself! And how effective it is! No wonder your business goes from strength to strength!

The truly sad thing, is that I could quite possibly continue this conversation for a lengthy time...given the frequency and intensity of such events!! But, I do try not to dwell too much on it...

Deb, as I write is walking the Great Ocean Road...left hubby and the grown kids to run the cotton farm while she took a very well deserved break. As it happens, we ended up living reasonably close to one another - which is a joy. Only 5 minutes apart for many years, but 6 or so years ago, they moved (which made my heart very sad) and she is now about an hours drive from me.

And, the "In a jar" Punchline...I can still hear her telling that story! So much depended on the tone and inflection!

Thanks for the smile I had at remembering...

all the best,


Lisa M said...

Well Hello there. Is this a Ranger reunion or what? Now if we could only find Vicki Theoharris and Leanne Tinniswood (not sure of the spelling but then I never was a speller)we could start Rangers all over again, not that I remember to much of it as I seem to recall that not long after Deb and I joined it finished was it something that we did? It must have been the joke that Deb told about the guy in the jar (which I have no clue about I don't remember this joke who's in the jar and why are they in a jar are there holes in the jar, did the door to door salesman sell his wares so many question and no answers this is enough to drive me crazy).

It was amazing for me to find your blog Tracey (as I not what you would call computer savvy)but it was even more amazing to find a comment from Alison Dyne, that did take me back to the good old days when we didn't have a care in the world. Couldn't wait to show mum (she was even surprised that I could find the blog, it was by accident or just sheer luck that I did find it as I said not computer savvy I'll tell you a little secret this is the 2nd time I've sent this the first one I tried to send but somehow wiped the lot, why can't people just write and don't get me started on twitter)but now I digress, Mum was thrilled that Alison remembered her in such a lovely way, but not sure about the angle sent from heaven part, She sends her best wishes and so do I.

As I said at the beginning of this I don't remember much of Rangers only remember 2 camps and one of them was in our back yard, so Mrs White (who now after 40 years I can call Carmel) could definitely drive to the camp site, but it rained that night so we all ended sleeping under the house, mum said there was boys that night across the paddock whistling at us but I don't recall any of that. The other camp was just Deb, Leanne and myself at some big Ranger thingamajig, and all I learnt on that camp was when someone fills in your fire so you can't cook your bake beans in the morning just eat them straight from the tin, I still do this today so girls that did fill in the fire who's laughing now!

So Deb's on a well deserved break walking the great ocean road that sounds like pure hell to me, yesterday I walked 5kms for juvenile diabetes and boy am I paying for it today, my whole body aches (get me the radox!) You know I could get her some good drugs to help her with this problem, does she even realise that you can actually drive the great ocean road.
Good on her for doing it but I still think she's crazy.

That's enough crap from me

May all yours days bring a smile to your face

Love Lisa Gilmour
(yes still married to Rex just thought I would use my maiden name for old time sake)
Ps. Tracey love your work always knew you had talent!!!!!
Pss. The guy in the jar was he dead, was he being used for research? This joke is going to drive me crazy, please end my misery and tell me the joke!

Tracey said...

Hi Lisa!

I'm so pleased you overcame your computer horrors to say hi here! The sad thing is that I can't really remember much of the joke myself - except the punch line, which needs to be delivered in a certain 'special' voice with a certain'special' tilt of the head...All those years ago political correctness was unheard of, as I recall! The salesman...no clue what he was selling, the jar occupant...at the university (I'm guessing no holes in the jar?), the rest...I'll have to see if Deb remembers it! So, I'm sorry to say I can't help you sleep well at night with regards to the joke! The questions remain unanswered!

Boys whistling at us across a paddock?? Did that happen?? Surely, I would have some recollection of such adolescent excitement?! What I recall is it raining, and everything getting damp and stinky...If only it would rain here now - I could go a bit of damp and stinky for a while...that's what happens here when it rains..wet men, wet work clothes, wet dogs (why DO wet dogs smell so bad?!) But, no rain - almost for forever - so I could handle a bout of it any time soon!

Deb's home from her big walk, pretty sure she never needs to do it again, but is enjoying a sense of achievement that she did it. Also, I believe, enjoying some blisters, sore muscles and joints, etc etc. I'll certainly pass on your offer for good pharmaceuticals, just in case she ever has the urge again!

I'm really pleased you stumbled your way here, and thank you for your encouraging words! Good to hear from you!

Take care,